The crippled light winds
around the twisted reaches of my soul. I follow behind, afraid of
what I'll find. The beacon of intelligibility has been extinguished
by anguish and disappointment. It's tongue-tied my reasoning; it's
not functioning, and yet I am aware of all that I see. I don't Understand,
but I See. The light crawls on and I am not far behind.
Searching blindly, numbly
creeping deep within where no thoughts go, I follow the light that
speaks in tongues and I know that lies and illusions are all I'll
find, but illusions are fine when you've lost your dreams.
The light is leaving a
trail of blood-stained hopes for a dream of peace on earth I'd once
seen that I'd thought had died long ago. But they're still squirming
like slugs that slither beneath decaying logs, leaving behind a slime
that only slugs can love.
The trail is sweet, and
salty too. Like the tears that rolled down my cheeks in whispered
nights when I thought that those hopes had all died. My tongue drags
behind me, lapping happily. But I feel nauseated as I walk on. So
much disillusioned time has passed that the sweetness of the traces
of a peacetopian world that taunt my tongue stings my soul and I am
repulsed. And the light goes on without me. And I am all alone, and
the darkness is closing in. Claustrophobic paranoia gridlocking my
perception is overshadowed by the tension of my inner desires burning
in frivolous anguish. I have reached an impasse and I can not let
myself pass.
There is a rumble that
shakes the walls. They rattle and I'm buried alive in the avalanche
of a lifetime of perceptions that tumbles down upon my blind and weary
mind. Reaching inside my vested interests, I tear out my heart and
drink my fill. I wait until I feel enough love for myself that I can
see again. The light returns, bouncing off the walls of possibility,
ricocheting loudly in splendor and confusion, but coming home to me.
"Guide me. Show me. Set
me free," I'm begging the Light. The light of my soul. The light that
is not for me alone, but for all who seek its splendor. The light
that emanates from a time of hope yet to come. The light no one, not
even me can ever really see. But I See it and it touches me, and my
heart is growing, and I crash out of the prison, and the rubble flies
into the darkness, and the Light rushes in, filling me, louder, brighter,
and more completely. I burst into the darkness, illuminating the heavens
with my own Vision of what is real, a vision where peace on earth
prevails forever and ever, and the trees bend in the breeze as I sway
my arms, and the oceans thunder as I breathe, and the ground roars
as I laugh, and lightning bolts crash from my fingertips, destroying
the chains that hold me down, and I'm rising with the light, growing,
filling the darkness with the wonder of life that has been tortured
and imprisoned within my being.
And the light is enveloping
everything until there is nothing but the Light of Peace. And suddenly
I'm filled with a bubbling, rushing, roaring, well of ecstasy, and
I explode in a wondrous burst of energy.
