1.
DID YOU EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN YOU WAKE UP WITH NO IDEA WHERE YOU ARE
OR WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE? THIS WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS...
I
remember waking up that morning with visions of a perfect world still dancing
in my head.
As I opened my eyes, the angelic whispers of hope faded away, leaving me with
a nasty foam rubber taste of reality in my mouth. The bed lunged as I tried to
sit up. I grasped
and I clawed, trying to reach the edge. Finally, I threw my legs over the side
and fell back in exhaustion.
"I
don't have a water bed," I suddenly realized. As soon as that thought started
to materialize in my groggy mind, I noticed a naked blue foam rubber mannequin
leaning over my bed as if to kiss me good morning. A warm stream of water spurted
out from beneath the sheets and hit me square in the face.
I
fought the waves and leaped onto the floor. Wiping the water from my eyes, I saw
to my utter horror that I was in the furniture section of some fancy, deserted
department store.
"This
is a dream, isn't it?" I mumbled out loud, but the naked mannequins that seemed
to be standing all over the store were silent.
I
tried to take stock of my memories to determine whether or not I was dreaming,
but I couldn't for the life of me put my finger on anything tangible to convince
me one way or the other. Remembering the teasing tastes of heaven and hell still
lingering in my mouth, the thought flashed through my brain that maybe I was a
mannequin who had just now come to life. As hard as I tried, I couldn't
find anything in my mind to convince me otherwise.
I
quickly felt my body. I felt real. Flannel shirt and old faded blue jeans, with
a hole in one of the pockets, and no money. Too pathetic to be a manequin.
Nope, I must be human.
That's
the last rational realization I made that day. I plugged the hole in the water
bed with a piece of gum someone had stuck under the night table, and carefully
made the bed I must have slept in.
All
the while, I tried to remember why I was there, and where it was I was supposed
to be. As nothing much came to mind, I waved goodbye to my silent blue friends,
and slipped out the back door into the alley.
