The Spirit World

1. ABG, NBG, GBS and other ghost networks for beginning channelers.

Ghosts are a lot of fun. They're a great pick-me up when you're down. They're good, cheap entertainment at parties. And they'll scare the hell out of your enemies, if you want them to.

How do you meet a nice ghost? Many check their New Age Directory for the nearest Ghost-Dating and Escort Service. Or they try one of the many 900 numbers to the Beyond. But the problem with ghosts is that they don't have bodies, so they're kind of hard to talk to. Actually, you can talk all you want, but in order for them to talk back, they have to talk through somebody. That's where channeling comes in.

Channelers tune their brains in to the spirit world, kind of like a radio. They push their own inner spirit to the side for a while, and let a ghost take the wheel.

You don't want the wrong ghost at your spiritual helm, however. So, we suggest beginning channelers stick to the major networks at first. They are, of course, ABG (Anything but Ghosttalk), NBG (Nutty Broadcasting Ghosts), GBS (Ghost BSers), and for the culturally minded, PBG (Pretty Boring Ghosts).

Some important channeling Do's and Don'ts: Animals easily learn to channel, but a ghost talking through a dog sounds a lot like your dog barking, so it's hardly worth the bother.

Always choose a designated channeler at a New Age seance. Ghosts love an excuse to get together, but there's nothing worse than a room full of ghosts letting off steam. Don't channel and drive. Ghosts are lousy drivers, and they couldn't care less how many points they put on your driver's license.