If all good dogs go to Heaven, will their barking keep you up nights?
Well, the answer's not that simple. Only a spirit which has climbed to the top of the ladder of Enlightenment can get into Heaven. The ancients believed animals were lower on the scale than humans, and that women were lower than men. Today we know that's a lot of bunk.
You can tell
how enlightened a spirit is by how bright he shines.
Let me tell you, some dogs are lots brighter than some people,
and contrary to what the ancients believed, most women are
brighter than most men. In fact, the brightest spirit on record
was the spirit of a female dolphin. That's why any educated,
sort-of-enlightened spirit will tell you a female dolphin
has the best chance of leaping up through the Cosmic Hoop of
Life into the Heavenly Bowl of Ice Cream.