CHAPTER 1

The 3 Questions

 

I was having that dream again.

The "For the last time what's it all about?" dream. The hazy, crazy "I know it doesn't matter, but I have to know" dream I have from time to time. The stupid dream that slips into my sleep whenever life has dealt me another strange hand, and I've lost again, and it hurts, and I just can't see how it all fits into the Great Plan, and I start to wonder if there really is a Plan.

I don't let myself wonder while I'm awake, anymore. I can't. It hurts my head. It aches inside. I will not think about those questions again!

So they haunt me in my dreams instead.

Those three questions. The 3 Big Questions.

"Who is God?"

"Who are we?"

"Is it over when it's over?"

Of course, I never find any answers in the dream either. It just leaves me cold and empty every time.

The dream started off exactly as it always does. I'm lying on a couch, and this psychiatrist who looks like Freud, my mother, my father, and every person I've ever known or admired or feared, is looking at me and his stopwatch at the same time, mumbling, "And how does that make you feel?" while I pour out my guts, trying to defend my screwed-up life, and why those crazy questions still haunt me after so many years.

I'm talking as fast as I can because I know that at any second he's going to say, "that's all the time we have for today," and I've got to make him understand...

The buzzer on his stopwatch goes off and he turns to me and says, "You schmuck! Stop worrying about questions and answers that don't matter. Just live your life!" And he throws his notepad at me as I squirm into the cushions.

Except this time I didn't dream that I opened my eyes to the cold, uncaring darkness. This time there was moonlight pouring through an open window, and it seemed so soft and so promising.

And I wasn't so terribly alone. Jill was there, lying beside me, gently sighing in her sleep. She looked so pretty, and so peaceful.

There was someone else standing in the moonlight, too. I squinted, trying to see who it was.

"Come on, Jack," the voice whispered, beckoning me.

The voice sounded so familiar, but I couldn't place it.

I opened my mouth to speak, but the voice whispered, "Shush, you'll wake Jill."

I pulled on my slippers and walked toward the shadow. Whoever it was seemed to be wearing my pajamas. I squinted harder. It was me!

I gasped.

"Hey, don't get all excited. You're just dreaming. Don't worry about it," the other me said reassuringly.

"But...but...you're me!"

"Yeah, so. That's not that hard a dream to conjure."

"I..." I stammered. I'd never met myself before. Not even in my dreams.

The other me took the hand I was waving pointlessly in the darkness and shook it. "Look, let's do this right. Hi, Jack. My name is Bo. How do you do?"

"I thought you said you were me. My name is Jack."

"True, but trust me. You can't have two Jacks in your dream. We won't have any idea which one of us we're talking about. We'll be totally confused."

I was totally confused already.

"Just hold on to my pajamas. We've got a lot of places to go."

With my head in a fog, I grabbed onto Bo's sleeve as we walked through the wall and out onto an escalator that floated in the air above my bedroom window.

"Where are we going...to my Christmas past?" I whispered, chuckling to myself.

Bo turned back and gave me a puzzled look. Then he rolled his eyes, just getting my joke. "Funny, real funny," he sneered. "Actually, we're going deep into your thoughts -- so you better hold on -- you've got some really weird ones in there."

Then, suddenly the escalator stopped, and we were standing in front of a giant Cosmic Book. I was suitably impressed. "Wow," I gasped as I read the huge golden letters: "THE THREE BIG QUESTIONS." I stared dumfounded as the cover slowly opened like an alligator yawning in the sun.

Bo chuckled to himself, and before I knew what was happening, he pulled me, and we were jumping into the book.

I opened my eyes and saw we were standing in front of a giant Page.

"CHAPTER 1. The 3 Questions." Bo was tugging on my sleeve again, and hesitantly I leaped through the Page with him.

As we stood in empty space, I saw the next Page up ahead growing closer and closer.

"SECTION 1: WHO IS GOD?"

Bo didn't have to urge me this time. Before the Page had even come to a stop, I was pulling him. This was fun!

We crashed through the Page, and Chapter 2 loomed just ahead.

 

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