CHAPTER 9 We are physical beings with a soul? I pushed through the pages, struggling to breathe. All I could see was white. White everywhere. Like the blinding burning light of life. And then I felt myself falling with those billions and billions of flickering flashes. As if I were falling from a great Babylene tower, hurtling to the depths of humanity, I roared through the burning, blinding life light. Faster and faster I gushed, like an astronaut plastered to the back of his cockpit under the weight of a gravitational thrust thousands of times more powerful than a safe dropped from the Empire State Building. I squinted in a birth-contraction pain-filled eternity as I hurtled through the unknown. I blinked forever, and in my distorted gaze I saw the whirling world around me had slowed to a crawl. A moaning, groaning, gasping slice of time floated through my brain. And then I saw these squiggly little pearly white sperms waving their sanitized W.C. Fields top hats at me as they floated past. There were millions of them, and we were all headed for the round, motherly egg of desire up ahead. Except I was eeking forward so very slowly, I knew I'd be late. Just as one of the sperm penetrated into the milky sheath and joined inside, I pushed into the stretchy latex, like a balloon stretching around my face, choking out all the air, and as it popped in a slow-motion roaring gasp, sperm, egg, and I exploded in a burst of brilliance. Floating Splitting Energy rippling through my existence. Darkness, gasping bursts of life within. Floating peaceful silent dreaming calmness gently tapping all around... blood and life and promise pumping in from without... gently floating, peaceful silent dreaming calmness gently tapping all around... What? Why! PULLING TUGGING SWIRLING TWIRLING ROARING ROARING... gasping... breath of life. cold and shivering, big and bright, What? Who? Give me. Hold me. Show me. Hold me. Help me. Hold me. Hold me. me. Me. ME. ME!!! Who? me. Why can't I do what I want me to do? Move hand. Do it right. Try. I can do it. I can... I... Who am I that I am trying to control? It's my body, but it's not me. Those thoughts racing through my mind that I'm trying to understand. They're my thoughts, but they don't belong to me. I'm inside, deeper than me. I'm trapped in here, alone inside this body. It's not me. I'm something more. Oh, so much more. I don't want to live inside myself. HELP! Table of Contents | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter