1. How many past lives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

If you're waiting for a hilarious answer that will help you laugh your way to enlightenment, I'm afraid you're in for a disappointment. On the next page in the Great Book, in neon letters it declares: "As many as it takes to get it right!" Not a particularly illuminating punch line, that's for sure! Spirits are pretty let down as well, as you can imagine, having travelled all that distance to hear a zen-joke that isn't the least bit funny.

Good ol' Bill does try to offer some suggestions as to what this Cosmic Goal of Goals is all about, but alas, he is just a struggling bored spirit, like the rest of us, so his suggestions should be taken with a grain of Cosmic salt.

According to Bill, Enlightenment may be a) finding universal brotherhood in your heart b) learning to completely control your mind and body c) overcoming all your fears so that you are not afraid to truly live d) learning how to screw in a Karma Light Bulb, or e) all of the above.

Now, whatever Enlightenment really is, it takes a long time to achieve. How long? Is it a heartbeat away? There are 2 1/4 billion heartbeats in a lifetime. Is that enough? Actually, it could take you one lifetime, or two, or a thousand -- Now that's a lot of heartbeats, but it still might not be enough!

We are born over and over and over again, until we get It right. One day we pull the great Cosmic Light Switch and the light finally goes on, and we step out of the Darkness and leap into the Light of Enlightenment.

You might be thinking that the prospect of having to do it all over, again and again, could be awful boring. But most spirits are happy to be able to give it another shot. Especially when they see their report card for their past life!

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