1. How to choose the right spirit guide without paying an arm or a leg or a previous lifetime.

Choosing your spiritual advisor is probably the most important thing you will do in this lifetime. With this in mind, many on the road to enlightenment go to great lengths to find their guide. Some buy expensive directories. Some meditate, fast, or pray for hours on end. Others frequent New Age parties, hoping to hear about a friend of a friend who might be available for the position.

Here's a shortcut to finding your perfect guide. Begin by writing down all of the qualities you would wish for in a perfect mate. Then, take out your Scrabble set and choose the number of letters equal to your favorite number. Turn the letters over, and voila, there's your spiritual advisor's name. (Don't worry if it's hard to pronounce -- Spirit guides have the strangest names.)

And that's all there is to it. Just speak your guide's name, and the perfect spiritual advisor will be at your command. It does help to break the ice by greeting your guide with your own personal secret handshake, which is the next point of discussion.